I Believe......

I believe...

...That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in awhile
and you must forgive them for that.

...that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

...that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.  It may be the last time you see them.

...that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.  Same goes for true love.

...that you can keep going long after you think you cant.

...that either you control your attitude or it controls you

...that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

...that sometimes when I'm angry, I have the right to be angry, but that doesnt give me the right to be cruel.

...that it isnt always enough to be forgiven by others.  Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

...that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesnt stop for your grief.

...that our background & circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

...that you shouldnt be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

...that two people can look at the exact same thing & see something totally different.

...that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who dont even know you.

...that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being

...that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon

...the happiest of people dont necessarily have the best of everything - they just make the most of everything they have.

 

 

Some food for thought on this wonderful Monday!  Hope this finds everyone doing well!

 

Love,

Shawn

The Boys got BAPTIZED!

A very special day this month occurred a few weeks ago!  The boys got BAPTIZED at St. Patrick Church in Franklin.  It was a very special day for us!  I am so tired tonight and am not going to post the details, but I wanted to let you all in on the photos of the day!  Enjoy the video!  A friend I went to high school with came and took pictures for me and she did a GREAT job!  Thanks Olivia!

Baptism Slide Show!

Just click the link and turn up the sound!

 “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” Matthew 28:19, 20

It's Been Awhile!

This is my first post in a very long time.

I know many people are under the impression that I have abandoned this blog once again. Some of you have sent me sweet emails and messages asking where I have been and that you have been praying for the boys and I.  I know many of you care deeply for us...for that, I can never say thank you enough.

I wish I could just blame my lack of posts on being busy (which is true) or on the overwhelming strain my body endures keeping up with 2 very active boys (also very true). However, I must be honest with myself in admitting that my absence is much more out of fear than anything else.  It is like I fear recording this season in our life because of it's uncertainties and brokenness!

So much of my life this past year has been full of emotions...grief, fear, anxiety, uncertainty - just to name a few. There are no words to describe the terror of leaving a marriage of 13 years and moving 2 children into a new home, not knowing what the next chapter will hold. There is no way to explain the uncontrollable anxiety of buying a new home, in a new neighborhood and wondering if you can make it on your own and whether you are doing what is best for your children. Grief and fear are emotions that have been all too familiar to me.

Anyone that knows me well, knows that I am a die-hard blog reader.  I read blogs, I think, to add a bit of normalcy to my life.  Anyways, one of my favorites is Angie Smith's blog, Bring the Rain.  I came across it years ago while struggling with a difficult time in my life.  It is unfortunate that I even have to know who she is or relate to her in any way. However, so many of her words and explanation of Scripture have rocked my world. Seriously, the woman is crazy anointed. I swear I want to be just like her.

In her blog, Bring the Rain - this post is titled "The Past and the Pitcher". It discusses, in part, the days following her child's death and how Angie decided she would follow some advice she had read in a book about grieving. In the book, a therapist encourages those grieving to take something and break it. At first, Angie thought the idea was ridiculous but then the Lord began to speak to her heart that breaking something was exactly what she should do. So, she went to her cabinets, pulled out a perfectly good pitcher, walked outside onto her front porch, threw it on the ground and watched it shatter into pieces.

via Angie Smith

She waited a few minutes as she stood there in silence, staring at the broken pieces,

until God finally spoke to her heart...

 

Put it back together.

So, Angie took all the small pieces of porcelain inside and one by one, she glued them back together with a hot glue gun. Her fingers were burnt and bloody from handling the small, sharp pieces. She continued working until finally, the pitcher had been put back together once again.

via Angie Smith

 

Angie then writes these words that still bring tears to my eyes this day,

---

"And as I worked, He let me think about my past. Mistakes that I have long regretted. I began to realize that this pitcher was my life, and every piece was part of a story that He had chosen to put together. I started crying, and remembering things I thought I had forgotten. It took a long time to finish, but it was time well spent. Every nook and cranny whispered to me, until at last it stood in all its imperfection.

Here you are, Angie.

You are mended. You are filled with my Spirit, and I am asking you to pour yourself out.

The image of my life as a broken pitcher was beautiful to me, but at the same time, it was hard to look at all of the cracks.

I ran my fingers along them and told Him I wish it had been different. How I wished I had always loved Him, always obeyed Him, always sought Him the way I should. I was mad at the imperfections, years wasted, gaping holes where it should be smooth.

But God, my ever-gracious God, was gentle and yet convicting as He explained.

My dearest Angie. How do you think the world has seen me? If it wasn't for the cracks, I couldn't seep out the way I do. I chose the pitcher. I chose you, just as you are."

---
 So many times I think, we must be broken before we can be shared...just as the body of Christ had to be broken before it could be given. God wants to use us not in spite of our brokenness, but because of it.

I realize the problem is that we ourselves have developed a mindset that what is broken is useless. We are quick to throw away things in our lives that have cracks or missing pieces. We find no use for them so they find a place in the trash instead of our lives.

I have come to be thankful this year that Christ doesn't think of us this way!
Instead...the more we are broken, the more valuable we become to Him.

I continue to feel like people I run into that is familar with the events of my life this past year look at me and see broken (which is maybe why I feel like these days are not worth recording for my boys to look back on someday)...yet, once they sit and talk with me awhile.....I hope that they don't see broken...I hope they see blessed. That is what I see when I look into the mirror today - but only because I choose to see my life that way, thanks to the grace and strength of God.  I have been blessed with the two most amazing little men in my life and the most wonderful, supportive set of parents that anyone could ask for!  Not to mention my amazing friends, that have provided me with the best support network that anyone could ask for!

It was during a recent conversation with my Aunt Judy that I began to realize that it is through those cracks-- the pains and mistakes that we are most ashamed of-- that the world can see a glimpse of the glory of God.

If are you still reading this long, rambling post, thanks for listening!  There have been many times that I sat down at this computer to record our days, with so many fun-filled things going on with us, only to sit here with nothing to say!  The month of November was amazing for us and I plan to fill you all in with the events real soon!  Garrett turned 8 years old, both boys were baptized and we finished every day this month discussing amongst the 3 of us what we were most thankful for each day! 

I hope to get back on the blog train and show you all how much the boys have grown and blossomed!  Until then, I will leave you with pictures from today....a day spent at home (with Ethan sick, throwing up actually), with my mom and dad here helping me get things done at my house, enjoying the company and help of each other!  My favorite kind of day by far!

Thank you Jesus for being broken...for me.
Today, I rejoice in being broken...for You.

"The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of me.” - 1 Corin. 11:23-24

Thirty-One Book Party!

Ok, I HATE these home parties....but a friend at school is just getting into selling these GREAT handbags so I agreed to have a book party!  If you are interested in placing an order just let me know!  The October special is AWESOME!  It is the Organizing Utility Tote for $7 when you spend $31!  That is the bag that I had contacted her to purchase when she "roped" me into doing this!

Check out the catalog here:  http://www.mythirtyone.com/ashleighphillips/

I am taking orders until Monday Oct. 24!

We have Wallace BACK!

It has been quite the eventful week here at our house! 

I bet that you can tell exactly what has happened with the look on this sweet boy's face!  WE GOT WALLY BACK!  If I sat here and typed out the entire story, it would be truly unbelievable, however let's just start by saying Wally was the only thing that Kurt and I disagreed about!  I guess we both wanted him....I didn't want him for the EXCESSIVE cat hair that he sheds, or the annoying whine that he does when he is hungry....I just wanted him because the boys LOVE him!

Not wanting to fight, I agreed that Wally could stay with Kurt.  Last Sunday evening my best friend since first grade received a phone call that I had abandoned WALLACE and my old neighbors were trying to get ahold of me since they were the ones that found him!  I will leave the rest of the story out, but after work on Monday I went out to the old neighborhood, called for Wally and he came running up out of the woods!  It was the saddest thing......but, on a better note he is doing well and the boys are thrilled that he isn't living in the wild anymore!

There was just one problem with us taking Wallace....he would never survive in town and especially since the boys keep my back door open at all times!  So I have to give a shout out to the real Wallace saver ~ Donn!  He is letting Wally live with him and all the cat hair that goes with him!  We go to Donn's regularly so the boys are OK with Donn giving him a home!  Garrett finds it quite humorous that Wally has taken over Donn's bed pillow at night!

One night this week we had the boys (mostly Ethan) out playing in the leaves!  I hope you enjoy the videos!



I am not sure if the video worked or not, but will leave it there in hopes that it did!  I hope this finds you all well!  Life is good!

Love,

Shawn



The First Day of School ~ A Bit Late!

Well, we are off to a great start of the school year!  The boys started school August 30th!

It was quite the ordeal with Ethan going to preschool!  He was not so sure about going and actually informed me that he did not need to go to school!  He goes on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays all day at St. Pat's.  His teacher is Mrs. Estok and needless to say HE LOVES IT!  He loves being able to go into school with Garrett in the mornings!  He also thinks that it is pretty neat that he has a "backpack and a lunchbox!"

Garrett started second grade and is in a multi-age classroom with 2nd and 3rd grades combined!  I was a bit nervous about how it would work out and it is going wonderful as well!  I think that being combined gives him the challenge that he needs as he can work at a higher level if need be!  His teacher is Mrs. Klinger and she is wonderful as well!  He thinks that it is great that he is permitted to take his Beyblades to school for free time!

We continue to have our wonderful babysitter, Christina who is actually Garrett's friend's mother that watches Ethan on the off days and picks them up from school everyday!  She is such a life-saver to me!  Without her, I am not sure how it would be possible!

The boys are continuing to grow and adjust to our new life!  We do things a lot differently at our house than we have ever done before!  Garrett's anxiety issues are decreasing, which I am so thankful for!  Ethan still gives me a run for my money, but he is still a momma's boy and I wouldn't trade that for the world! 

Continue to pray for us and know that each one of your emails mean so much to me!  We are doing great and I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful, supportive people in my life! 

Lots of Love,

Shawn

Welcome!

Here I am ..... about 6 months of our lives remains unrecorded, but that is OK!  We have been extremely busy the last six months and A LOT has changed!  I have decided it is time to get back on track and record the precious days of my children, which is what really counts in life!

The title of my new blog, I am sure, has you wondering "What the heck?!?!"  Well, let me tell you....I debated and debated a title for this blog and "Pardon My Dirty Laundry" is so fitting for so many different reasons!

First and foremost, on any given day if you stop at my house without notice, you will find dirty laundry (nine times out of ten all over the house!)  You see, the boys typically undress in the living room and that is where the dirty laundry stays until I have enough ambition to bend over and pick it up!  Don't get me wrong, we are working on them placing it in the correct place, but somehow it just never happens!  LOL

My journey to Catholicism also lead to the subject of Dirty Laundry!  You see in order to become Catholic, I had to do my first confession.  Confession is one of those gray areas to me.....I talk to God on a daily basis and feel that I ask for forgiveness and receive it without the help of a Priest.  However, I realize the importance of being held accountable by going to Confession!  To say the least, that first Confession was very difficult for me.....so difficult that I had to be drug back into the church by a dear friend that I met in RCIA class!  It was at the end of April and as you all know my life was turning upside down!  I had made myself a list of what I wanted forgiveness for and had prepared myself to ask for it!  By my surprise, the Priest informed me that this was not the place to "air out my dirty laundry!"  That whole experience was two fold for me!  WOW, I felt so much better to know that I was off the hook.....but, on the other hand, had things to get off my chest as well! LOL  Anyways.....the dirty laundry business has really become an inside joke with me!  My walk to Catholicism has been the greatest journey I have been on, so this one experience did not get in the way of the path that I had chosen!

As I was giving thought to this blog this morning, I came across this scripture-

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your heart and mind.” Phil 4:6-7.

He wants us to pray.

He wants us to petition him.

He wants us to present our requests to him.

And at the end there is peace.

The past six months have been difficult in so many ways, just like dirty laundry is so difficult to stay caught up with.  So many days I found myself crying and saying out loud to myself demanding him “God, I just need some answers.”

Some days were a woe is me, I spent stuck in my own pity party. You see, I was stuck in such a vicious cycle. I’ve been riding that cycle for way more time that I can admit to!  It was a ride that God had been calling me to jump off of for quite some time.  But somehow I became comfortable just going around and around. The thought always crossed my mind that if I jump off, what then? Then I’ll actually have to do something to change my circumstance. It’s up to me. It’s like there’s a fork in the road and I can go one of two ways…. I can go the road that brings forth changes, or take the road where I find myself hopping right back in the cycle.

You know how on a washing machine you have different cycles for "dirty laundry?"  Well one of them is gentle for delicate clothing, right?

Funny how we seem to be in a cycle and not willing to do anything to change our circumstances, but we have no problem saying, but God, just be gentle with me. You think in a situation where we’re clearly being disobedient that God is going to be gentle. No, it’s going to hurt, and it’s going to be painful when we’re not aligned with God. 

He knows so much better than we do.

It was way past time to put an end to the cycle......and I can honestly say that I am a better person because of it.

In closing, I hope you continue to follow along with me and my dirty laundry!  Comparing my life to laundry at this point seems so fitting!  I have went through the cycle, put in the dryer on permanent press and at this point, there are only a few wrinkles!